If.

If we wget back together how will I know that it's not just because I don't want to hurt you?

Because I still care about you, just don't think I love you. And yes, there is a difference, and yes you can do one without the other.

If we get back together how do I know that everything wont just change back? And don't just say "it won't".

If we get back together how do I know that you will accept that I spend time with my family, and accept that I hve a horse thus spend time riding it? The only ways that you have so far is by being forced to do so. It hasn't gone unnoticed that you haven't wanted to.

How will I know that I'm doing the right thing? How will I know that it's not just to spare your feelings? And what the FUCK happens if in three more months everything's gone backwards?

You've not been as depressed since your councellor but you're not sorted out. You've not had the chance to test it. You may relate your depression to something good, but pretty soon afterwards you'll wonder why it had to change.