From that day on she ruined my time.
I can't even fully remember what she did. A lot of the time she would stare at me with her hand blocking the sun, smiling and coughing to get my attention, with her friend Miranda Moorley. She made me paranoid about how I looked, what I did, and everything about me. At that time I was friends with Katie Becker - ish. She was always unreliable because she was, basically, horrible. She's now besties with Leah.
When I was younger I was really obsessed with horses, so used to play "horses". Originally, Holly - the one who was keeping Leah being nice for a while but eventually left anyway (I almost regained contact with her recently, but I think Leah told her I am a terrible person, so she stopped talking properly); Leah; Katie and I would play. Other people would join in, but I can't remember who. I was always slightly popular, but with the wrong crowd and wrong ideas and wrong everything.
I became so paranoid, eventually, that I stopped playing horses even though I wanted to. Leah said it was "lame" and "kinda sad", so I supressed my imagination and stopped letting myself want to do too much.
I stopped myself reacting to things and tried to numb myself to everything that she did. It worked perfectly in public. That's how I've been able to forgive everyone so easily, and why I'm so forgetful. I made myself forgive everyone because I was terriffied of having no one, and I forgot things ebcause it made the forgiving much easier. That's why I was friends with Katie (who made me miserable) several times; sometimes speak to Miranda Moorley (who was mentioned); Flora (who was a bitch); and Lilli Woodthorpe (who was very horrible on several occasions)...etc. I met Lois Lamb that year, and she became a very stable friend who - I think - helped me ignore them.
What I realised today is that Leah Kelly is the bitch who made me the bad bits of what I am today.
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