Ponderment. Or something.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
i don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried, and i don't know why...

Slow it down, make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot
To be something i'm not
I'm a fool out of love
'Cause i just can't get enough...

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
i don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried, and i don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but i don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know i've got to let it go...
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot in the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs
And synchronise in time
It's a joke, nobody knows
They've got a ticket to the show....

This is possibly the cutest song ever written.

And it's right; we should just let life happen and enjoy the process of it.

It is and always will be something which must be accepted and understood about life.

I'm in such a weird mood, and have been for most of the evening.

I feel kinda blank.

My head hurts.

I can't stop listening to The Show and Neoplitan Dreams.

The text on this has decided to stop wrapping itself, which is really inconvenient.

And why there are so many new lines.

So what to speak of?

Well there are a few things, kinda.

Alice.

She texted me today and said that we should meet up.

I want to see her.

I think.

I want to tell her that I'm sick of her pushing me aside until it's inconvenient for her;

She needs someone to turn to. The time befor elast I spoke to her, her cat died.

Jack.

I don't even know what I want to say here.

I want to be talking to him - not online, though - and just ... tell him shit.

There's not even anything to tell.

He knows how I feel.

He knows my past.

He knows what I want formy future.

Well, he knows most of my past.

No one knows all of it. Me included.

Youtube.

Don't know how long I'll keep going with it.

Photographs.

I want to skip school tomorrow and take them.

Alone time.

I want some.

Actually, I don't.

I want time to be with my thoughts, but only if they stay superficial and don't go stupid and over-thinking.

Tomorrow.

I'd forgotten about this.

tomorrow's when I have to give Oli his fucking stuff.

Maybe I just won't. It'd be easier. I could on Thursday instead, so that I have a reason to go.

A Pod to call me and get me away.

I meant to ask mum to call me but wasn't in the mood to talk, at all really.

My head.

It really hurts.

Dancing.

I wanna dance up the street in sunlight and a skirt. And I have no idea why.

Something he said.

"he came here for me."

"wonder how long that'll last."

pah.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Let's think.

Part of me would like to change my guts. Make myself braver so that I can tell Alice what I feel and tell Oli to eff off.

Tell the poeple I don't like that I don't actualyl want anything to do with them any more.

To tell the best people I know that they're wonderful.

To sing from the rooftops.

To go skydiving.

"tell the best people I know that they're wonderful"

stupid one, that.

if they know me and are reading this then they should know who they are

Kati and Jack

just to clarify.

"Alice what i feel .... Oli ... eff off"

I Can Do It.

I'll ignore "to sing from the rooftops", becaue that's my weird mood kicking in.

"go skydiving"

Two meanings.

1--to actualyl go skydiving. It'd be great.

2--to go my version of skydiving. Something with as much of an adreneline rush and excitement and build up.

So what could that be for me?

Probably being at a show.

As fucking if.

I don't like negative thoughts.

I'm going to try and get some fucking sleep.

Bye.